I’m too horny for the amount of sex I’m not having.

(Source: jacket--off, via wankbankofamerica)

April 16, 2014

mylifeinmegabytes:

So one of my friends broke her arm falling off her porch and her hot neighbor friend took her to the emergency room. When she about to get a xray the technician asked “is there any possibility of you being pregnant?” and she’s like “No” the technician looked at her, looked the the hot neighbor friend then look back at her and asked "Are you sure?"

(via wankbankofamerica)

April 16, 2014
  • Doctor: I think you'll need a shot
  • Me: AYYYYY
  • Doctor: AYYYYY *brings out tequila*
April 16, 2014

icarly-official:

if you use the bible as an excuse towards being anti gay dont forget that:

  • shrimp
  • pork
  • obesity
  • torn clothes (like ripped jeans)
  • wearing clothing made from 2 different fabrics
  • cutting your hair
  • shaving
  • tattoos
  • and working on Sundays

are all listed as abominations in the bible as well

(via wankbankofamerica)

April 16, 2014

unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

EVERY SINGLE EASTER MY MOTHER HIDES A THREE POUND EASTER EGG IN THE HOUSE AND SETS MY BROTHERS AND I OFF TO GO FIND IT AND GUESS WHO GOT IT FOR THE FOURTH CONSECUTIVE YEAR IN A ROW

image

NOT THOSE LIL BITCHES

(via wankbankofamerica)

April 16, 2014